Truth, you don’t know what you have until it’s gone. I lost the woman who I loved so deeply. I wasn’t perfect and I made mistakes. I’m not going to place blame on anyone or anything. I accept the mistakes I made. I cannot blame my past anymore. I cannot use my failed relationships as an excuse for the things I did wrong. I just was simply afraid. It all seemed to good to be true, but reality, everything was true. If I could only get the chance to make things right. Rather than pull her close to me, I pushed her away. Now I’m all alone reflecting on the beautiful moments I will never forget. The good times, the sad times, moments of clarity, moments of doubt, moments of bliss. She was the ideal woman for me and I fucked it all up. My insecurities stole my happiness. 

She admitted to me that she was afraid of my success because all she wanted is a normal life. I dreamed, but never anticipated that the opportunities would become reality. My success took control of my ego and it turned me into a monster. Drinking way beyond my means and ruining the one pure thing I had in my life…her love. It didn’t matter if I was broke or successful, her love never strayed. Damn I feel like an idiot now. If I could only get that time back when things were pure and beautiful. I’m sorry.